Thursday Morning Maybe

So its actually Wednesday night, and I probably will not finish this until some stage on Thursday. All I have on my mind is Friday and Chemo day. I have just made a batch of protein Granola bites to take with me and keep me fed on Friday. I know that the lady in the ward brings sandwiches and crisps around, but to be honest I associate food with joy and I dont feel full of joy during Chemo. In fact I cannot imagine eating when I am so joyless. Food is not something I go to when I am unhappy not even chocolate.I cannot imagine unhappy food I eat to enjoy and to share it with and family and friends . Now I am not drawing any comparision in any way, but I have always wondered why people on death row even bother to have a last meal if it was a last drink and you had a choice of a half decent whiskey yes but a last meal I cannot understand.

So you may have guessed at this stage that I am not looking forward to Friday. As much as I am impatient to get it all over and done with, I still dread it. Its not the needle God knows I have had enough of them, due to my Hemochromatosis so I am used to venesection where they use the full size Elephant needle to draw off a pint of blood to lower your iron level. My record was three minutes and eighteen seconds for a pint of blood.

So here is the interesting fact if you are into plebotomy. In 568mls(A Pint) of blood there is 250mls of Iron and more if your ferretin levels are high. Everyone thinks that there is lots of iron in Guiness so guess what in the same quantity of Guiness there is!! Wait for it .3ml of iron. A lot less than even I thought but these are the useless but interesting facts you search out when you have what they class as iron overload. Hence people who have genetic Hemochromatosis need to have venesection on a regular basis to reduce their iron levels. No I don’t set off metal detectors at airports, but I also don’t bruise that easy and I do tend to recover fast from run of the mill colds and flu so lets see what Chemo does to me. I do take some solace from having iron overload, its not scientifically proven but I like to think that I found out about this shitty tumour early because my immune system is on the ball and gave me that persistent sore throat quite fast. This is my theory and I am quite happy with it not to be proven wrong . I like this theory perhaps another example of me either grasping at straws or trying to make a positive out of a shitty situation.

I know that I set up this blog to help others and raise money for charity but I also set it up to help me cleanse my brain(Chemo brain included) and soul so bear with me. I will get to the recipe and maybe the protein bar one as well. Its funny and maybe I have mentioned this in a former blog but when I had my first cycle I walked into the ward and all the team who work there, all knew me from the venesction. So the running joke was I missed them so much I went and got Cancer. Trust me I love that joke, and if I had to work there I would sharpen up my macabre wit as well. These professionals walk such a fine line between the high standards that they set themselves and the constant knowledge that every time someone like me sits in front of them they are helping you get back to a normal life, or in some cases just postponing the inevitable. No I havent got the balls to research the numbers who fall versus the numbers who walk after the chemo finally finishes, and no I dont need to talk about it either its not the time to start a conversation!!

Incidentally I am going to do a recipe on this BLOG, I am just not sure which one, as it will be cooked Thursday for dinner when I get home on Friday so it may well be the Lentil casserole with Chorizo and pancetta. Its a nice simple dish but for obvious reasons its not the most exciting or the most photogenic of dishes in fact it definitely falls into the ugly duckling category.

So its Thursday afternoon and I had a call from the hospital this morning for a blood test, as the original one I gave on Monday is now to old to fit in the cancer treatment protocol. As it is such a beautifull day, we decided to pop over to Henley and do a very social distanced picnic which was lovely, I have changed my mind and Ive decided to make a Murg Murkani or butter chicken, for dinner and yes I know its not very cooking with cancer, but do remember I always said that this is food I cook for the family and Murg Murkani or butter chicken is one of our favourites, I have not cooked it in ages. I did marinate the chicken in yoghurt and ginger before I left so I will recipe it up as I cook it, and pop it on here later. I will also do the protein bar recipe. Sorry if I diappointed anyone, who had to read my blurb to get to here and find out that I decided not too do the recipe yet, but have patience its a good chicken dish and worth waiting for.

See ya and give yourself a hug If you have gotten through another chemo day, give yourself a hug if you have had the chance to enjoy something good from today, oh go on just give yourself a hug !!

Liam

4 thoughts on “Thursday Morning Maybe

  1. Thank you for sharing. It’s lovely to hear your honest and heart felt thoughts, in all of their meanderings. Just to know who you are doing.
    Lots of love for Friday and I hope you have made some yummy granola bites for the day too. Even if you don’t fancy eating, you’ll still get hungry. Xx

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  2. Liam
    I read all your blogs with a mixture of tears and laughter.
    Hate to see what you, Rachel, Cohen & Baker are going through
    But your descriptions are so real and heartfelt
    Thinking of you always, and I’m looking forward to trying some of your recipes, but especially Murg Murkani, as anytime I ever see this on a menu, it always reminds me of you & Rachel, and some wonderful nights in Cork, back in the day. Much love xxxxxx

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